Thursday, December 20, 2012


Things Not To Say When Hanging The Lights On The Christmas Tree...

Did you know that hanging lights on a Christmas tree is one of the three most stressful situations in an on-going relationship?

Psychiatrists claim the other two danger zones are teaching your mate to drive and wallpapering. They are rarely wrong on these things.

"You've got two red lights right next to each other, dummy. Your supposed to go yellow, green, red, blue, not yellow, red, red, green, blue..."

"Up a little higher. You can reach it. Go on, try."

"What the hell do you do to these lights when you put them away every year? Tie them in knot?"

"Come away from that aluminum ladder, kids. I'm going to fry that dad of yours."

"If you're not going to do it right, don't do it at all. Don't just throw them on, like you do the icicles. You're worse than your father."

"Give me that!"

"I don't care if you have found another two strings, I'm done!"

"Have you been drinking?"

"Where's the cat?"

Merry Christmas