Thursday, November 01, 2012


Hey There,

What up? Phew, it's been quite a month. Quite a month, Man...

Oh, sorry about that, just got lost in thought about the terrible things Mitt Romney wants to do to women. Wait--that sounded weird. You know what I mean.

Anyway, you can probably guess why I'm writing. I don't want to lose this election. Not, you know, because of, like, how it would affect me. This isn't about me. I'll be totes alright. I mean, think about it: Even if I lose, I'd be a former president, so, like, people would still definitely want to hang with me and play b-ball (even if I do always win). I mean seriously, how sweet would it be to hang with s former pres? Tell me you wouldn't be excited for that. I would. I definitely would.

And also I'd have a lot more time to, like, do stuff. I'm waaay behind on movies. I mean, Harvey still won't get off my back about seeing The Artist, so that could be cool. Plus, I could get my turntables out of storage and start spinning again. And I've always wanted to take a road trip and see America. I mean, I've seen "America," I guess, but I wanna see, like, the cool parts of America-Portland, Austin, I heard Charleston is cool. Not, you know, Ohio.'

Hey, maybe I'll even get a real job or something. Part-time, or maybe even full-time. Oh, like a full professorship! I never got to do that before. Maybe Senator-elect Warren could hook me up, Hmm...

Oh, uh-but seriously, I really don't want to lose this thing. For reals. We're entering the home stretch here and I could really, really use your support. So, I guess donate $5 or-oh, wait, great idea: If you live in Portland or Austin or somewhere cool and you've got space for me to crash, send me your digits. I'll text you or something. Sweet.