Thursday, December 29, 2011


From : Katie Dept. Manager
To: All 3rd Floor Staff
Subject: Ethics Classes
Date: Dec. 29, 2011

Dear Staff:

As you've probably heard, we've had a teensy glitch in the document leaks department; A certain new Mayor, who shall remain nameless, has been naughty lately, and the blogs are all over him for lying.

Now we'd usually just ignore this sort of thing, but our new Mayor has even been sworn in yet! So we clearly have to send out a "we care about ethics" message, to get the taxpayers off our new mayor's back.

Here's what we're gonna do.

I'll be holding ethics classes the first two weeks in January, and you all have to come. Booooring!!! - yes, I know. But I promise my class will be really short.

As an extra inducement, I'll devote 95% of each session to a talk which I like to call "keeping the council members and taxpayers in the dark."

The following topics will be discussed:

* No more paid 3 hour lunches.

* All offices facing Hauss Square be on the look out for taxpayers and/or Council Members heading to the 3rd floor.

* Comp Time

* Take home cars at the malls

* Cell phone calls to out of state family members after the holidays

* Grocery shopping during working hours

Excuses to use before releasing any documents:

(a) Everyone has to fill out a form
(b) We're to busy
(c) Copy machine is broke
(d) The person that handles this is in a meeting

Do you get my drift...staff?

And needless to say, there won't be a test. Of course there will be a gazillion page questionnaire.

Just kidding! ROFLMAO

After all, a little birdie tells me many of you may be hiring criminal lawyers real soon...and those guys are PRICEY!!! So the time to sock some cash away is NOW - Big Time!

Just kidding! HA...HA...HA!

Please check the attached schedule to see which slot you've got, and stop throwing our new mayor under the bus.

He needs some New Year cheer, before the voters eat him up come Jan. 1, 2012!

Remember it's the taxpayers money we're spending!

Happy New Years
Katie Dept. Manager
New Albany
Document Department

PS...Do not leak this memo!

Source: Anonymous